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Do you have any little rituals or rules you follow every day?

Maybe you don't even think of them as "rules," but chances are, they still shape how you go about your life.

I've got a few. When I see a yellow light, I kiss my hand and touch the car's visor — a habit I can't seem to shake. On the tennis court, I always bounce the ball three times before serving, no matter what. And right before my first running steps, I tug up the tongues on my shoes, even if I've already been warming up for ages. At the grocery store, I've set a hard rule: No juice or soda goes into my cart (except for apple juice for the boys). That way, it's not something I reach for at home. As a result, I drink a lot of water.

Each of these started as something I actively thought about. But now? They're as second-nature as breathing. In fact, I had to pause and reflect just to remember what my "rules" even are — they've blended seamlessly into my daily life.

Think you don't have little rules like this? Think again.

You probably brush your teeth before you get in bed every night. Or wash your hands after using the bathroom. Or put your phone on the charger when you go to sleep. These are all so basic, it's hard to even think of them as "rules" you follow. But it's likely that they weren't so natural from the very start. It's only after decades of following them that they become second nature.

That's the magic of behavioral psychology. Once a habit takes root, it's shockingly powerful.

That's right; although we may not always think of them this way, another word we could use to describe these rules is habits — and that's actually a pretty important distinction. The psychology behind habits is pretty powerful stuff... so powerful, in fact, that hundreds of researchers have spent decades pinpointing exactly how we can build habits to our advantage.

So what if we applied that same idea... to our finances?

Why Spending Rules Work Better Than Willpower

When it comes to managing your money, it's easy to set out with the best intentions but still stumble along the way. Maybe you swear you'll only spend $100 on groceries this week, but somehow the total creeps up to $150. Or you promise yourself you'll put money into savings, but by the time all the bills are paid, there's nothing left to set aside.

If that sounds familiar, I want you to go ahead and let yourself off the hook. Because not being able to stick to a budget isn't just about bad math or poor discipline — it's about how our minds work.

According to Mariel Beasley, co-founder of Common Cents Labs, "Motivation, like anything else, ebbs and flows. So if you're relying on sheer willpower to prevent you from making purchases, it's going to wear down over time and won't always be effective."

Willpower has its limits, and relying on it can lead to a frustrating cycle of spending highs and lows. "People stick to their budget and spend less one week, but then the following week they overcompensate for their lower spending and go over budget," Beasley explains. "Once they realize they're over budget, they'll reduce spending again to try to fall under budget — and the cycle continues."

It's a rollercoaster ride that leaves you feeling like you're treading water instead of making progress.

That's where spending rules come in. Instead of relying on willpower or setting yourself up for failure with rigid budgets, spending rules offer a simpler, more intuitive way to stay on track. These action-based guidelines focus on specific behaviors rather than blanket restrictions, making them easier to stick with and less emotionally taxing.

How to Create Spending Rules That Stick

Spending rules aren't about punishing yourself or feeling deprived — they're about creating habits that align with how you naturally think and behave. The key is to work with your tendencies, not against them. Start by paying attention to where your spending tends to slip out of control. Once you spot the patterns, you can craft simple, specific rules to address them — just like building any other habit.

Step 1: Pinpoint Your Problem Areas

Where does your money seem to disappear? For some, it's impulse buys at the grocery store. For others, it's late-night online shopping or overspending on nights out with friends. Take stock of these patterns, not with judgment but curiosity. What situations or emotions trigger overspending for you?

If you often overspend on snacks at the grocery store, tie a new rule to your existing habit of making a grocery list: "I'll only buy snacks if they're written on my list before I leave the house." This uses the routine of list-making to reinforce mindful spending and helps you avoid impulse purchases. It's specific, actionable, and tied to a pre-existing habit — making it easier to remember and stick with.

In fact, tying a habit you're trying to build to a pre-existing habit — a tactic called "habit stacking" — is one of the best (and oldest) tricks for successful results.

Step 2: Design Rules That Feel Manageable

The key here is to avoid rules that feel like punishment. "Budgeting is effective as a one-time thing, like for Christmas shopping or going on a vacation," Beasley says. "But long term, it's not effective because it makes people feel bad when they don't hit the budgeting goals they set for themselves."

Spending rules, on the other hand, focus on what you can do rather than what you can't — a small but powerful mindset shift.

For instance, instead of saying, "I'll never eat out again," try something like, "I'll only pay cash when I go out to eat." This way, you're setting a clear boundary that doesn't rely on sheer willpower. Plus, cash is finite, so you're naturally limited to what you bring with you.

Here's another great example. Our nanny, Eve, realized her takeout spending was getting out of hand. So I gave her a challenge for the month: "Everytime you order takeout or pull into a drive-thru, move $10 into your savings account." This simple challenge helped her become more mindful of her spending while steadily growing her savings. By tying a small action to a larger goal, she was able to rein in her takeout habit without feeling completely restricted.

Step 3: Test, Tweak, Build, Repeat!

No rule is perfect right out of the gate. Think of this as an experiment — try out a rule for a month and see how it feels. If it's too restrictive or you find yourself forgetting it, adjust! Maybe your rule needs to be tied to something more routine or rephrased to make it simpler. The goal isn't perfection; it's progress.

Experts say it can take anywhere from 18 to 200 days for an action to become a habit. Just keep reinforcing the rule with consistency. The more often you repeat the behavior, the more automatic it becomes. And don't forget to celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement keeps you motivated and helps the habit stick long term.

Additionally, as exciting as it is to dive headfirst into a complete money makeover, it's important to not overwhelm yourself. Experts in behavior change agree: It's best to focus on just one or two habits at a time. Trying to overhaul everything at once can be overwhelming and makes it harder for any single change to stick. Start by adding one or two new spending rules; once those feel like second nature, you can move on to the next one.

Spending Rules You Can Try Today

Not sure where to start? Here's a list of simple, action-based spending rules to inspire you. These rules are designed to fit seamlessly into your daily life, helping you manage your money without feeling deprived.

1) The Starbucks Rule. Only treat yourself to Starbucks (or your favorite coffee shop) on days when you have another appointment. This ties your splurge to a specific event, making it feel special rather than routine.

2) The Cash-Only Dining Rule. When going out to eat with friends, bring cash and leave the card at home. You'll avoid overspending because, well, you can't spend what you don't have.

3) The 48-Hour Online Purchase Rule. Impulse buys can wreak havoc on your budget. To curb the habit, wait 48 hours before buying anything online over a certain dollar amount. Often, the urge fades, and you'll save yourself some serious cash.

4) The Sales-Only Shopping Rule. Commit to only buying clothes or shoes during seasonal sales. This ensures you're getting the best deal while avoiding unnecessary purchases throughout the year.

5) The Special Occasion Drinks Rule. When dining out, skip the cocktails or wine unless it's a special occasion. Drinks can significantly inflate your bill, and this rule helps you enjoy them when it truly matters.

6) The Subscription Check-In Rule. Every three months, review your subscriptions. If you haven't used a service or app in the past month, cancel it. This quick audit keeps recurring costs in check.

7) The "Fun Fund" Rule. Set aside a small amount each month for guilt-free spending on things you love. Knowing you have a dedicated fund can prevent you from splurging outside your means.

8) The "$20 ATM Limit" Rule. Withdraw a set amount of cash (like $20 or $40) at the start of the week for small, incidental expenses. Once it's gone, no more spending until the next week. This keeps impulse purchases in check without relying on your card.

9) The "One Item Out" Rule. Every time you buy something new, get rid of one old item. This works especially well for clothes or home goods and helps curb unnecessary purchases while keeping your space clutter-free.

10) The "Wait Until Payday" Rule. Thinking about making a splurge? Wait until your next paycheck to decide. Often, the time delay will make the purchase feel less urgent — and you might even skip it altogether.

11) The "Round-Up" Rule. Every time you make a purchase, round up to the nearest $5 or $10 and move the difference into savings. For example, if you spend $17, stash away $3. It's a painless way to build savings over time.

12) The "No Weekday Dining Out" Rule. Limit eating out to weekends only. This creates a clear boundary while allowing you to still enjoy meals out as a treat.

13) The "Grocery List Only" Rule. Stick to a strict grocery list and avoid tossing extra items into your cart. If it's not on the list, it doesn't come home with you.

14) The "$10 Test" Rule. For non-essential purchases, ask yourself: Would I still buy this if it cost $10 more? If the answer is no, it's probably not worth it.

15) The "Drive a Little Longer" Rule. If you're considering upgrading your car, commit to driving your current one for six more months before deciding. This extra time often reveals whether the upgrade is truly necessary — or just a desire.

The beauty of these rules is their flexibility — mix, match, or modify them to fit your lifestyle. The best spending rules are the ones that feel natural and easy to follow.

Overcoming Challenges With Spending Rules

Even the best spending rules can hit roadblocks. Life happens, and sticking to any habit takes time and practice. The good news? You don't have to be perfect to see results. Here are some common challenges and strategies to help you stay on track.

1) Forgetting Your Rule. We're all busy, and it's easy to forget a rule in the moment. To combat this, try setting reminders on your phone or writing your rule down and keeping it visible — like on your fridge, desk, or even your wallet. If your rule is tied to a specific event, add it to your calendar or link it to an existing habit.

2) Feeling Limited or Restricted. Sometimes, rules can feel like they're cramping your style, especially if they involve cutting back on something you enjoy. The trick is to reframe the rule as a choice rather than a restriction. For example, instead of "I can't order drinks when I eat out," think of it as, "I'm choosing to save $10 - $20 every time I skip a drink." It also helps to give yourself permission to adjust the rule if it's not working. Spending rules are meant to serve you, not the other way around.

3) Slipping Up. Everyone slips up occasionally. The key is not to beat yourself up about it. Remember: Progress, not perfection. If you go overboard one week, reflect on why it happened and tweak your rule if needed. For instance, if you found it hard to stick to the cash-only dining rule because you didn't bring enough, adjust by carrying slightly more cash next time.

4) External Pressure. Friends or family might unintentionally push you to break your rules, like encouraging you to "just put it on your card" when cash runs out. Be honest but firm — something as simple as, "I'm sticking to cash to help me budget better," can go a long way. You might even inspire them to try a rule of their own!

5) Losing Momentum. Habits can lose their shine over time. To stay motivated, celebrate your wins. Did your Starbucks rule save you $50 this month? Treat yourself to something small from your fun fund. Reflecting on how these rules improve your financial health can keep you energized to stick with them.

Your Rules, Your Freedom

Spending rules aren't about restricting your life — they're about aligning your habits with your goals. By creating small, actionable guidelines, you're giving yourself a framework to spend more intentionally while still enjoying the things you love.

The best part? These rules work with your psychology, not against it. Instead of relying on sheer willpower or navigating the ups and downs of a rigid budget, you're building habits that feel natural and sustainable. Whether it's a simple "one in, one out" rule or a cash-only dining strategy, these small changes can add up to big results.

Remember, the key to success is flexibility. Test out a rule, see how it feels, and don't be afraid to tweak it until it fits your life perfectly. It's about progress.

So, what spending rule will you try first? Start small, stay curious, and watch how these tiny shifts can transform the way you manage your money — and your life.